Unison of Another Kind

Rahimullah Yusufzai

Publishing Date: Tuesday, June 6 2006

Poverty and, in some cases, greed has led parents in Mardan and several other districts of NWFP to sell their young daughters to much older men outside their native areas, particularly in Punjab. The problem by now has become acute as girls sold in marriage in alien places are forced to live miserable lives.

Police officers are reporting a sudden increase in the number of cases, in which girls married off to distant places in Punjab and elsewhere run away from the homes of their old husbands and return to their parents' homes in NWFP. Once home, the poor girls narrate tales of cruelty at the hands of their husbands and in-laws and vow never to return to that wretched life spent in some far-off village in Sialkot, Gujranwala, Rawalpindi or Lahore. Some of the girls allege that they end up as the second or third wife of ageing men and are often forced into prostitution.

It's not always Punjab where these unfortunate girls are taken after marriage. Some girls from Mardan are married off in the Kurram Agency and other tribal regions where men find it impossible to pay the high price to buy a bride. The custom of buying brides is rooted in the tribal area's culture and the bride-money has risen sharply because tribesmen gainfully employed in the Gulf States are able to offer a higher price for the girls of marriageable age. In comparison, girls could be bought much cheaper from peasant families settled in districts such as Mardan, Charsadda, Swat and Malakand Agency. Husbands and families paying huge amounts of money for girls often consider them as some kind of property instead of wives and treat them accordingly.

The story of a young girl, Seema, from Bijlighar locality in Mardan city exemplifies the ordeal of most of these unfortunate girls. She discovered to her horror after being married off through a middleman in Darband area of Mansehra district that her husband was already married and twice her age. She had done matriculation and was the only one among her five sisters who was educated and dreamed of getting a socially acceptable husband. The middleman duped her old father, Ameer Khan, paid him a meager amount and arranged Seema's marriage to the old man. It was at the office of the Kashmir Khan Memorial Free Legal Aid Centre in Mardan where Seema narrated her tale of sorrow. Pregnant with her first child, the clearly anemic young woman, was still willing to stay with her husband because seeking a divorce meant that she would be responsible for bringing shame on her family. Assisted by her elder sister, she tearfully recalled how desperate she was to find a decent husband but instead ended up tying the knot with someone as old as her father. Naveed Khan, advocate, chief legal adviser of the Kashmir Khan Memorial Free Legal Aid Centre, explained to Seema the options that she had in her circumstances. She could file for divorce, make a claim for compensation in keeping with her nikah papers or demand money for her upkeep and that of her about-to-be-born child. Like a typical eastern wife, Seema would have none of it. She wanted to remain the wife of the man who had fathered her child and give it a try to save her marriage. Her immediate concern, while staying with her destitute parents was some financial help, which Mardan philanthropist Ghulam Nabi Khan generously provided.

Ghulam Nabi launched the Kashmir Khan Memorial Free Legal Aid Centre. He ran his family business after his father's death. His younger brothers, in Belgium, prospered by establishing gas stations. The seven brothers, decided to spend some of their earnings on welfare activities in their native Mardan. This led to the launching of the Baybay Welfare Trust in 1999 in the memory of their mother. Baybay in Pashto means mother and according to Ghulam Nabi, the trust was named thus to pay homage to every mother.

The Kashmir Khan Memorial Free Legal Aid Centre is one of the several projects of Baybay Welfare Trust. It has undertaken projects in the education, health, sports, culture and other sectors. According to one estimate, the Baybay Welfare Trust until now has done welfare and charity work worth Rs. 80 million. From liberating dehqans or bonded labour from the clutches of their landlords in Swabi and Mardan by paying their debt amounting to Rs . 9.3 million to extending financial support to the poor and the needy and the members of the minority Christian and Hindu communities, the trust has been gradually extending its activities. Collective weddings of poor girls are regularly arranged, medical camps are held and students are given scholarships. A computer institute for girls in Mardan was set up at a cost of Rs. 7 million and its monthly expenditure is about Rs. 170,000. It has trained a number of girls to learn computers and secure decent jobs. A handicrafts centre for girls with a monthly expenditure of Rs. 200,000 has enabled a number of girls to obtain employment. The gynaecology hospital in Mardan has been set up at a cost of Rs. 1.5 million and is providing free treatment to patients from Mardan and adjoining areas. It costs Rs. 150,000 per month. The trust is also running a free clinic in Mardan city. It regularly organises sports tournaments and has paid for the cost of improving facilities at the District Jail in Mardan. It also sponsors literary and poetry sessions and holds seminars on important issues.

The Baybay Welfare Trust has focused attention on imparting skills to women and taking care of their needs. Undertaking projects aimed at helping women in a conservative place like Mardan is daunting. Some of the projects have generated controversy but the trust's managers are determined to pursue their objectives. The work of the Kashmir Khan Memorial Free Legal Aid Centre, carried out with help from kind-hearted lawyers, is important as it takes care of needy litigants, especially women. An amount of Rs. 220,000 was spent on building and renovating the centre and its running monthly cost is almost Rs. 50,000. The centre secured the release of 130 prisoners involved in petty crime and is presently pursuing 25 cases in the courts. The release of 10 female inmates was also obtained and several cases of violence against women were resolved.

Some of the typical cases taken up by the Kashmir Khan Memorial Free Legal Aid Centre include that of Tahira alias Saba, daughter of Gulzar of mohalla Nalipar, Allahdad Khel, Mardan who applied to the family court in Mardan for termination of her marriage to Saifur Rahman of village Daham Balgan, tehsil Daska, district Sialkot. The marriage was contracted on July 27, 2001 but a few years later she wanted to break free of her miserable life as the wife of an old farmer who made her work for hours in the fields. The cash, jewellery and house promised to her in the nikah agreement were difficult to acquire even after fighting a long legal battle but she was still happy to get divorce.

Then there was the case of Shazia, daughter of Sultan Khan of Sikandari Bagh Koroona, Mardan, who also approached the family court for termination of her nikah to Babar of mohalla Fazalabad, Kohinoor Mills, Peshawar Road, Rawalpindi. Her story was familiar - a young girl married off to an old man from an alien place and culture.

Hidayat Begum of Gujjar Garhi village near Mardan, did the same. She petitioned the family judge in Mardan for termination of her marriage to Khurshid of Noorpur village, Gujranwala.

Then there was Shamim Akhtar, daughter of Lal Mir, Palodheray village, district Mardan, who approached the court through the Kashmir Khan Memorial Free Legal Aid Centre to have her tortuous marriage terminated with Sajjad Zubair of Motara village, district Sialkot.

Many other young women are seeking help of lawyers and organisations to seek freedom from unhappy marriages to already married older men. There has been an increase in the number of middlemen, some known to the police, luring parents and their daughters with promise of marrying them off to wealthy families. It has become a big business with men profiting from the ill-conceived matrimonial unions and women suffering to no end.

Organisations such as Baybay Welfare Trust are trying to tackle the problem by offering monetary support and free legal services and arranging marriages of poor girls. Until now it has arranged collective marriages of 70 couples in Mardan city, Gujjar Garhi and Katlang by spending Rs. 1.8 million on dowry and the wedding feast. More such weddings are planned in the hope that parents would not sell their daughters once their dowry is arranged and husbands of an equal status and age are found for them in their native places. Seminars have been held to highlight the issue and the help of police sought to pre-empt sale of girls to unscrupulous people.

However, a lot more needs to be done to tackle the problem. Both government and non-governmental organisations have to do their bit to stop the sale and purchase of girls and save them from a life of misery.

For further reading :: Belgium based Philanthropist cares for Hometown Mardan